Stop working on yourself, be yourself!

So, you have learned everything there is to know about the theory, you have the right tools and you use them every day. If you are not as happy, serene and contented as you tought you would be, here are a few things you can do.

Stop taking yourself seriously

Let me be very clear, there is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to be the best possible version of yourself or with desiring the best possible life.

However, if you are taking yourself too seriously, treating this as another assignment, always worrying that maybe you are not doing the right thing, you will only be even more stressed out than before.

Stop trying too hard. Stop wondering if you are doing the right thing. Relax and be silent and listen to your inner guidance.

"Taking yourself too seriously is an obstacle to trusting your vibes. Your serious, or intellectual, self is your ego posturing again, relentlessly trying to stay in charge." - Sonia Choquette.

Stop feeling guilty about your "flaws"

Working on yourself will never make you perfect, and you shouldn't be. Nobody's perfect. You are what you are for a reason. All of us have "flaws", which are only the dark side of our best qualities.

Now that you've learned that you are responsible for everything that happens to you, you might feel bad every time you catch yourself being angry or selfish or lazy...

Don't feel guilty. Every time you notice a negative reaction, just acknowledge it.

Yes, you are angry, and yes, you hope next time your reaction will be more serene. Just realize it, apologize, if you have to, and let it go.

You don't have to beat yourself up, just decide to do your best.

"Each aspect within us needs understanding and compassion. If we are unwilling to give it to ourselves how can we expect the world to give it to us?" - Debbie Ford

Stop trying to change others

This is probably the biggest temptation of all, and the biggest mistake. Once you start working on yourself, once you feel "enlightened", you might start thinking others should follow the same path.

They shouldn't and you shouldn't try to make them.

You cannot change another person and they will most probably resent your interference if you try to.

If you change, some people may leave your life and you will meet others with whom you will feel comfortable without having to change them.

"... As you grow older, you attract people who are on your wavelength and who understand who you are." - Marisa Berenson

Stop worrying about other people's opinion

The opposite problem is just as frequent. When you embrace new ideas, new habits, maybe a whole new way of life, you are afraid people will make fun of it.

But let's face it, living according to other people's standards is not what you want either.

Do you really want to be loved or liked for what you are not? It would mean keeping up a charade and never being able to relax.

Your real friends are the people who accept you exactly as you are.

"What other people think of me is none of my business. One of the highest places you can get to is being independent of the good opinions of other people."- Dr Wayne Dyer

Stop wasting precious time

We all have dreams, and as we start working on ourselves, we spend even more time imagining all the good things we want to create in our lives.

The problem is, while you are too busy planning your future, you might miss an awful lot of precious moments.

Your life is not perfect now, but it is full of surprises, big and small, full of gifts, if you take the time to see and appreciate them.

Remember to leave time for fun, to open your eyes and your ears, to be present in your real life and not only in your dreams.

"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift of God, which is why we call it the present." - Bill Keane